‘When Life Throws You Lemons’. Why I’m Coming Home…
I learnt last year that nothing in life is guaranteed, so why was I disappointed to work out that coming home is the best thing for now?
I bought my tickets for London eight months ago with mum, a round-trip to visit the family and celebrate her sister (my Aunts) 60th. But when my full-time job was ending back in New Zealand, along with my long-term relationship, it seemed that the universe was ‘lining up’ and as I’ve always said, everything happens for a reason.
So I made my plans to move on and tied up loose ends, along with posting vlog after vlog about packing up my stuff and making the big move. It was happening. I spent the two weeks leading up to the flight catching up with friends and sharing a few tears here and there (mostly about leaving my cat behind). Then when flight day arrived, it all went so smoothly. No issues with packing, no issues with tickets, no issues with flying with anxiety.
But when I arrived, it all went a little differently than expected. Sure, I arrived with all my dreams in tact and plans in place. I looked for work and started applying for things (the amount of copywriting and editing roles going had me feeling really hopeful), and everything was all going to plan. That was until the weather took a change.
January was England’s wettest winter month in nearly 250 years, and well, it’s got to go somewhere. The second week brought flooding in the surrounding area I was staying. Family members were hit, roads were closed and it was hard to get out. Storms also came that caused power cuts for most of the day. Breaking news went from a couple of months until it’s sorted, to several months until it starts going down. To say it was daunting would be an understatement.
I had my return ticket sitting there, that I wasn’t intending to use, and all at once going home seemed really appealing. As you can imagine, being stuck somewhere, with the possibility that you could be underwater at any moment is quite scary; when you bring into factor my anxiety, the whole thing turns into a nightmare.
So I started talking more to family who of course wanted me safe, and a certain boy that wanted me home (but that’s a whole other story). I looked at jobs back in New Zealand and just my luck the copywriting jobs were more in line with where I want to be, not to mention my blog being based back home. And it all lined up again, the universe threw a curveball and lined up again.
It’s been a hard decision to make to come home, mostly because I wanted to save face and really tough it out but at the moment it’s kind of black and white, it’s better for me to be back home. It doesn’t mean that I’m not going to do it again, it just means that maybe now isn’t the right time; and that’s fine, as I’ve always said, everything happens for a reason, right? If only I could see what that reason was…
– Christine x